When I read about the Israelites worrying about where the next meal would be coming from, even hoarding the manna due to worry it reminds me of my anxiety. I can totally relate to them. When I was young it always seemed that there was never enough. I would look at my cousins and seen that they would be getting all this awesome stuff and I would sit back and cry. Why didn't I get what they were?
So when I did get things, I would hide them. It didn't matter that it may have been torn, falling apart, or stolen. I was going to keep them. When I got older, I became an impulse buyer, I had to have more and more, what I was given was not enough. My paycheck would be spent but sometimes my rent or bills weren't. It was a horrible existence to live. I was never happy, no matter how much stuff that I had in my possession. Even when I had my daughter I still struggled with this. When I got married it got worse, I would have to account for every penny that I spent to my ex-husband. So there were many times when I would squirrel away stuff that he would believe was food, it just so happened that it came up as misc on the receipts. Still I was not happy, not only was I hoarding but now I was lying and cheating.
Then God sent me a loving, caring man. My manna. I am sure there was many times when my husband would shake his head at my spending, but he eventually helped me with this. I learned from him by God that he could and would provide for me and my children. God had instilled in him not to complain about things and accept that God had his hand in his life. When I learned to stop and listen to God, I found out that I had less to complain about and more was given that I didn't have to hoard things for another day. I have put my trust in God and have found that blessings from Him make me happy, why complain?
Yours in Christ
Heather
Morning Has Broken - Orla Fallon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5D3LEjGF8A
God Provides - Tamela Mann https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8BwydIR-r0
The Lord Will Provide - Matthew Smith https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfTjEMVfqew
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus - Lauren Daigle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L57ox0iQU7A
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