I know that Ephesians 5 covers many things, the one I want to focus on is verses 21 - 31 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I have been asked many times by acquaintances when asked to do something, replying that I have to speak to my husband, "Why do you have to ask for permission?" Huh? Or when in a store when asked if I would like to apply for a credit card, "Why yes I would, but after discussions with my husband I have to decline." The response that I always get is a stunned look, rolled eyes, and a long drawn out ok. When this happens I reply "Happy Spouse, Happy House."
That is the phrase that is at the heart of my marriage. I respect my husband and in turn he respects me. It doesn't have to do with permission, consent, or control. It shows our love for God. As I explain to my acquaintances this respect has helped my relationship last 23 years. Which seems to be a rarity these days. The only obedience that I follow is that of my father, God. Happy spouse, happy house should never be one-sided, never happy wife, happy life, because truly in that situation no one is happy. Without God as the head of you have no guidance or foundation.
This is not to say that my marriage has always been this way, but when you give control to God, you really have no choice but to love your husband/wife. God loved you so much that he gave us his only son to wipe away our sins, wouldn't ensuring that you have a happy spouse just one little thing that you can do to show your appreciation for God and what He did.
Your in Christ
Heather