In this past few weeks, my focus has been on father's. They can be an important part of a child's life as they grow up. Then there are just some men who do not have the capabilities of being a father and may chose to leave their child's lives. My father was denied access to me when I was young due to personal feelings.
My children's father was denied access due to his abusive ways. That was hard on my children as they grew up wondering, questioning who they were. They were thankful that they had a great mother who was their for them, but I think that what they loved most was that they didn't have a mother who bashed their father. No matter what he had done to me, my comments towards him were never malicious. Though many today would say that I had every right to be so after what he had done to me. Let me ask you though, what would that have achieved? How am I allowed to be judge and jury for my children? My feelings should not be a weapon against him, in fact, not against anyone. What if in the future he was not as I said, who would they resent then? Me.
My son searched for his father and yes I had issues with it, but they were just that, my issues with it. I knew that he had to take the journey on his own. All I could do is just let it happen and pray that the outcome would be what was needed. I just prayed protection around my son, forgiveness for my ex-husband, and wisdom for myself with how to navigate it. In the end, my son learned first hand how his father was and ended the relationship.
Now my son is navigating fatherhood with his son. I watch with wonder in my eyes as his son responds to him. Atreus hears his dad's voice and he searches the room for him. When he sees him, he smiles. When he is holding him, Atreus looks at his face and knows that my son is there to protect him. It just melts my heart and brings a tear to my eye. It also helps to know that God sent to us in my son's younger years a man who would take on the role as stepdad. I praise God for that man, who helped my boys navigate from childhood to manhood. He was and is a strong role model who has always shown unconditional love to all my children. My husband loves God and it shows. It also reminds me that we have an almighty Father, who as my husband emulates love us unconditionally. Without Him, I do not know where we would be.
Yours in Christ
Heather
Good, Good Father - Chris Tomlin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ak0OoFBw3c
How Deep the Father's Love - Stuart Townsend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzQj7XvKFmA
Reckless Love - Anthony Evans https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHKt2kF-Cr8
Father I Want You to Hold Me - Brian Doerkson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWGkwnZXQZc
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